


Something to be Sorry For

by Dorkangel



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bilbo being a nosy little Hobbit, Gen, Presumed child abuse, Surprise ending mwahahaha, Thorin is a dick, Unrealistic cos Fili and Kili doing as they're told, not really I swear!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 09:23:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1545785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorkangel/pseuds/Dorkangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo has noticed that Fili and Kili seem very nervous around their uncle. And Thorin's temper is legendary... should he be concerned?<br/>In which Bilbo is a total hobbit, Thorin is a dick, Fili and Kili need a hug and the author gives up on writing happy fics. Being evil is more fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Something To Be Sorry For

When Fili and Kili first arrived at Bag End, they were smiling. By the time Thorin arrived, they were not.  
At the time Bilbo assumed casually that this was out of respect for their Uncle and King, but in retrospect he could see that this was not the case.

In fact the first occasion that Bilbo noticed their skittishness was that night, when sleeping arrangements for twelve Dwarves, a Hobbit and a Wizard had to be made. The spare bedroom was offered to Gandalf, who politely declined and disappeared in his usual manner into the night, and so Thorin took the spare bedroom.  
By the time Bilbo wanted to go to sleep, Dwarves were everywhere (for if you think of it, twelve is quite a lot), including the kitchen table. He wandered around on his furry feet, counting quietly to make sure he wouldn't find any of them under his bed. Finding Ori on an empty bookshelf, he frowned. That made ten, assuming Thorin was in the spare room. Where were Fili and Kili?  
He didn't want to shout for them in fear of waking a sleepy Bifur or Dwalin (or other scary dwarves), so he pottered around, looking.  
And was surprised to find them standing outside the spare room, arguing in whispers and furious gestures that Gandalf had explained to him were the Dwarvish sign language, Iglishmêk. "Excuse me," he began quietly, and they both jumped. "What are you doing?"  
"Nothing important, Master Baggins." smiled Fili. "We just can't find anywhere to sleep."  
"I'm sure Thorin wouldn't mind if you-"  
"No, we're alright."  
"We couldn't want any trouble."  
Their answers were a little too quick for Bilbo to feel completely comfortable. "Well, I'm going to go in and ask him."  
The two princes exchanged nervous glances but didn't stop Bilbo as he opened the door and knocked quietly. And yes, in that order. "Thorin? I've told Fili and Kili to sleep in here."  
Thorin didn't respond for a moment, and out of the corner of his eye Bilbo could see his nephews tense slightly, and then a dark shape rose up from the double and collapsed onto the smaller bed and they both relaxed suddenly, all the tension pouring out of them as they ran over to the double bed, grinning gratefully at the hobbit.

And Bilbo thought no more about it until the second occasion. It was generally accepted by the others that the two youngest Dwarves scurried to obey Thorin's commands, being much more at ease when he wasn't there; but a kind of discomfort settled at the back of Bilbo's mind. There was definitely something up: he could see it in the way they didn't quite look him in the eye and their breathed 'yes sir's, and 'no uncle's.  
The company were on the cliffs, in maybe their fifth or sixth day of travelling, and the two boys (thinking Thorin was asleep) has told Bilbo a tale about Orcs. Seeing his expression, they had laughed, and he had given them a look reserved usually for naughty young Hobbits - a look of reluctant amusement - when Thorin had stood up. "You think that's funny?" His words were spat out as though they pained him and his face was full of rage. "You think a night raid by Orcs is a JOKE?"  
Fili and Kili had visibly paled at his angry words, scrambling to their feet. "We didn't mean anything by it," whispered Fili, his throat dry, and when Thorin took a step towards them they shrank against the cave wall, frightened. Doubtless he would have taken another step, and another, but Gandalf had moved a little so that he was almost directly in Thorin's way, sending out a clear message of 'don't you dare'. Balin, standing quite a bit off, caught the boy's eyes and nodded meaningfully to the left, and they both went the other way from Thorin as quickly as they could.  
Thorin shook his head and sat down, overwhelmed by some emotion.  
"Don't mind Thorin, lad." said Balin sadly. "He has more reason than most to hate orcs..."

Bilbo, this time, could not help but think about it. He tried to confront Fili and Kili about it, but unfortunately that was the moment when the ponies were stolen.  
"I brought you some stew... Is there a problem?"  
He had been looking at the brothers' stricken faces, frozen, staring at the ponies and absolutely terrified. "W-we're supposed to be looking after the ponies..."  
"...only we've encountered a slight problem." Kili seemed to have trouble swallowing.  
"There's meant to be sixteen, but there's only fourteen."  
The exchanged looks. "Uncle's going to kill us." he whispered. He sounded serious.  
"Look, about Thorin-"  
"So we thought something's stolen them."  
"Looks like something big uprooted those trees..."

And then, of course, was the incident with the trolls. No time for talking, really.

He managed to ask Bofur about it in the cave, just before the goblins got them. He had just settled down to go to sleep, but then noticed that is was Bofur who was on watch and sat up. "Bilbo? What is it?"  
"I... I was just wondering about Fili and Kili."  
Bofur raised an eyebrow in silent question. "It's just... they seem really nervous around Thorin and he... doesn't help."  
Bofur sighed. "He's the king. He blames himself for any misfortune at all to befall his people- and we've had enough misfortune to fuel a hundred years of hobbit tales. He gets... stressed and you see, Fili and Kili's father died when they were young and their mother, Dis, stayed in the Blue Mountains. Safer there. So, Fili and Kili were brought up mainly by Thorin, and his temper is quite legendary among us... I haven't seen anything quite as explosive from him as I've heard he can be, to put it nicely."  
Bilbo nodded, understanding. "I thought it might be something like that."  
"Yeah, well. Best not to mention it."  
Bilbo nodded. "Hey, is it me or is the floor sinkiIINNNG!"  
And then there were the goblins.

In Mirkwood it got worse. Everyone was tetchy and drowsy. Walking, even on the path, in Mirkwood, was a living hell.  
Kili was walking directly in front of Thorin when he stumbled and fell. It wasn't the first time anyone had fallen on the road: it was treacherous and they were dizzy.  
When Kili fell, his Uncle grabbed him by the back of his collar and struck him, hard, across the face. The rest of the company started at Kili's cry but otherwise ignored it, except for Bilbo, for whom the moment moved in complete clarity. "Ah! Sorry, sorry!" Kili's apology was that of those used to being punished often and for little reason. He was little more than a child: Bilbo felt his heart wrench.  
Kili stumbled a little off the path and rested against a tree, breathing quickly and sharply. Bilbo waited with him.  
"Does that happen often?"  
Kili jumped. "I don't know what you mean."  
"Yes you do."  
"...sometimes. It happens sometimes."  
Everyone was avoiding the question, proving in Bilbo's mind that what he suspected was quite correct.

Later in Mirkwood, in the Elven King's prison, Thorin sat alone in his dark cell, far below the others. He didn't know what was happening, and he had absolutely not an inkling that Bilbo Baggins could be coming to help him. "Thorin," whispered the Halfling, forgetting that in the world of people not wearing the ring the darkness was almost complete and Thorin wouldn't be able to see him. "Who's there?" called the king. "Answer me! None of your dirty elvish tricks!"  
"Thorin, it's me. Bilbo."  
"Bilbo Baggins?" Thorin's voice was incredulous until Bilbo took off the ring and lit a torch. "Bilbo! Thank Aulë... Fili, Kili, a-are they alright?"  
He seemed genuinely terrified for his nephews' health. "Yes, they're fine. None of the company has been harmed at all."  
"Thranduil...that filthy shirumund... He- he told me he'd hurt them."  
Bilbo shook his head. "They're fine." he repeated with a hesitant smile. "I know what you think of me, Master Baggins." he spat, his voice bitter and regretful. "That I am a cruel man who takes his anger out on two boys who do not dare to defend themselves. I have an infamous temper, it is true, but in my right mind I would never do a single thing to bring the slightest harm to those boys. I would kill anyone who tried."  
He looked Bilbo in the eyes, something appearing to snap deep inside of him. "I fear I have not been in my right mind, my friend."  
Bilbo smiled back at him.

The second Thorin was out of the cell, Bilbo led him to his nephews. The Elven guards were still asleep and there was (according to Oin) a very small chance of them waking.  
"Fili, Kili. Thank the Valar you're safe."  
Fili and Kili jumped, nervous and shocked as their uncle embraced them with crushing force. "What's brought this on?" laughed Fili, a little bit shakily.  
"Thranduil threatened to take you from me." whispered Throin in their ears. "I may not have been the best uncle, but..."  
"Elvish bastard." hissed Kili. "That tree-shagger! Where were you, Uncle?"  
"In a darker cell, much deeper."  
"Can we kill him?"  
Thorin chuckled heartily at Fili's mock innocent tone. "Not now."  
"Come on," called Bilbo softly. "I've found the way out!"  
"Listen," whispered Thorin, looking both of them in the eye. "Afterwards, once we have reclaimed Erebor, I will make it up to you."  
Fili and Kili grinned and they turned to follow Bilbo.

But of course, they never did retake Erebor. At least, Thorin and his nephews did not.


	2. Alternative Ending!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...what would happen if everybody lived (or- Why everyone living was a BAD idea)

But once they had taken Erebor, the gold-sickness was begun to take Thorin. The other dwarves noticed it; even his fanatic possessiveness of the Arkenstone during the siege was a sign, but it was not as severe as his grandfather's... It couldn't be.  
In reality, it easily was, but the others of the company ignored it for the sake of hope.  
Until Fili and Kili disappeared. One day they were there - not completely comfortable with being mostly ignored and yelled at, but not really noticing too much - and the next they were gone. Thorin dismissed it when asked, quickly turning to anger as he did nowadays, and they didn't dare to ask him again.  
That didn't mean they didn't look.  
Bofur was the one who found them, eventually. Fili was hidden under his bed, in an exhausted sleep. Kili was huddled up in Fili's wardrobe, awake and wide-eyed. When Bofur opened the door he gasped and pressed himself back against the side. "Hey, laddy, we've been looking for you. What's wrong?"  
"B-Bofur. I thought you were..."  
"Hey, you're alright. Fili's under the bed."  
"I know." Kili's voice was still shaking. "You haven't just been HERE, now have you?"  
"No, me and Fili been running around. Hiding."  
Bofur was about to ask who from. He didn't. "From Thorin?"  
Kili nodded urgently. "He locked us in his room. Said we had to learn to be kings, and Fili tried to run off and he hit him, so we waited 'til he'd gone and I picked the lock-"  
"Picked the lock?"  
"Nori taught us. Thorin was thundering around looking for us, saying he'd kill us - we heard him - and we just kept hiding. We didn't think he'd look in here AGAIN."  
Kili tried to get up and stumbled and Bofur caught him. "I don't reckon you've had too much food in the last few days, have you?"  
Kili shook his head. "Bombur's hard to slip past."  
Bofur laughed. "C'mon. Wake up your brother and we'll go find mine."

NOT sneaking past Bombur- as any Dwarfling will tell you - is much easier than trying to sneak past him. If you try NOT to, you'll definitely succeed. Fili and Kili quite spectacularly didn't sneak past him (with Bofur's assistance) and were thoroughly fed.  
Bofur went to fetch Balin, and the five of them together (though Bombur didn't contribute much) discussed the boys' fate.  
"We can't stay here." said Fili, insistent. "Thorin's going mad."  
"I don't think there's any idea of you staying, don't you worry." nodded Balin. "He's not even that angry yet. I mean no disrespect, you are his nephews, but I've known him longer than anyone here and if he really kicks off, I wouldn't want you two on the wrong end of it."  
Kili watched them with sad dark eyes and pointedly said nothing. In the face of his usual chattiness it was sharp and obvious.  
"Where can we go?" Fili whispered.  
"There's always the Shire?" Bofur's offer was more of a question. Would they want to go and live with Hobbits?  
"Temporary measure." smiled Bombur. "Bilbo'll be glad to see you at least."  
"Right." said Balin.  
"I'll pack your stuff." nodded Bofur. "You two try and get some rest."  
They nodded miserably. Thorin or no Thorin, Erebor was their home. They had fought to reclaim it.

It took them nearly three months to get back to the shire. Both of them were used enough to a hard life (before Erebor) and they had been on the journey once before, but by the time they arrived in Hobbiton they were near enough dead on their feet.  
Exhausted and ragged, Kili and Fili shakily dismounted their horses and jogged up to the little Hobbit Hole.  
It must have been about midnight.  
Fili knocked while Kili hung back nervously with the ponies. "Fee, are you sure this is the right place?"  
"I don't know. It looks about right."  
"Maybe he redecorated?"  
The door was opened by a slightly grumpy-looking (though good-natured) older Hobbit. Behind him was a nervous younger Hobbit, the human equivalent of a teenage boy, who appeared to be holding a shovel in case of Dwarvish attack. "What do you want? And at this hour?"  
Fili drooped, defeated. "I'm sorry, Master Hobbit. Wrong house. My brother and I were looking for Bag End."  
"Bilbo Baggins?" asked the man, raising an eyebrow. "Yes! Do you know him?"  
"I'm his gardener. He won't be awake, not at this hour, but I suppose you'll have to wake him. You can't just stay in the woods."  
Fili and Kili gave him a look of such intense gratitude and relief that he smiled back. "Sam,"  
"Yes dad?"  
"Show these two where Mr Baggins lives, would you?"  
Sam's eyes widened a bit at the thought of tramping through the town with two Dwarves in the middle of the night, but he admirably didn't protest. "Alright Gaffer."  
Putting the shovel down, the young Hobbit walked out of his home and nodded to the two. "I'm Samwise Gamgee."  
"Fili Durin."  
"Kili Durin."  
"Are you some of the Dwarves from Mr Bilbo's stories, then?"  
"Stories?"  
"About trolls and mountains and elves and Erebor."  
The brothers exchanged a surprised glance. "He tells stories about us?" Sam nodded fervently. "Well then... yes, I guess so."  
"I wouldn't dare to go on an adventure." said the boy, shaking his head. If his eyes went any wider they'd pop out of his head. "But Bilbo doesn't seem the type either, and he did. I've been in Bag End often enough, see, because he's been teaching me my letters. My Gaffer don't think much of that, but he don't see much harm in it either so..." he shrugged. "His nephew's living with him now. Has been for 'bout a week. Here we are."  
"Thank you very much, Samwise Gamgee."  
"My pleasure, Mr Fili." The young Hobbit flushed a bit and then knocked and ran off home. For a moment they waited, apprehensive and nervous at what Bilbo would say to them, and then the door opened.  
Once again, Bilbo wasn't there.  
In his place was an extremely small, skinny, dark-haired and pale little hobbitling, who gasped at them.  
"We're sorry," started Fili again. "We were lookin-"  
"No, Fee, this'd be his nephew, remember?"  
"Oh, right."  
"My name is Kili Durin," said Kili kindly, crouching down to the little boy's level. "This is my brother, Fili."  
" 'm Frodo Baggins."  
"Aha. A little Baggins! We're looking for your Uncle Bilbo."  
"He's asleep."  
"That he may be, but this is very important."  
Bilbo Baggins arrived at the door in much the same way as he had the first time: in a dressing gown and looking rather confused.  
"Fili! Kili! What on earth are you doing here?"  
They exchanged a look, and then spoke at the same time.  
"It's complicated-"  
"It's Thorin-"  
"Ah. I see. Come in, come in! Whatever the circumstances of your visit, I am glad to see you. Frodo, come on. Don't just stand there!"  
Kili laughed as they did. "This place hasn't changed."  
"Hmm. There's still mud on the box where you wiped your boots. I can't get it off."  
Fili bent to inspect the box. "That's not mud. It's Orc blood."  
"Well, that explains it. So, what are you doing here? Sit down and tell me. We have plenty of time."  
Fili sat down heavily, took a sigh, and explained.

And more than a decade later, Gandalf arrived at the door of Bag End, pushing past a gate with a sign that said 'no admittance, except on party business'.  
"No thank you!" came Bilbo's angry voice. "We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers or distant relations!"  
"Come now, Bilbo. Be friendly."  
"Harrumph."  
"But Kee, what if that's the Sackville-Bagginses? Again?"  
"Good point. Who's there?"  
"Just a very old friend!"  
Bilbo's head stuck out through a door. "Gandalf!"  
"What?!"  
"Gandalf!"  
Bilbo's head was joined that of two dwarves. "Fili, Kili..." Gandalf's frown was deep and worried. "What on earth are you doing here?"  
They exchanged pained looks, much as they had before. "It's a long story."

*

And that, people, is the reason that they died in the Battle of Five Armies.  
At least, the reason Thorin died. Fili and Kili should have lived!!


End file.
